Category: Dude, Or Douchebag

Dude, Or Douchebag: Parking Jobs ’14

Truth is, I’m as guilty as the next guy.  My car has mirrors, sensors, cameras–everything but a midget parking assistant in my glove box (although I did post the position on Craig’s List)– but even I often fail to park well.  But I’d like to think that my occasional parking offenses don’t have much affect others.  Not like this douchebag: Sure, the white line overage is minimal,...

From Dude To Douchebag: 5 Simple Steps

The other day at the Calabasas car wash, while trolling for car candy, I was rendered speechless when this Douchebag drove up: The man sitting next to me, was far less tongue tied, “Blech…that’s the ugliest car I’ve ever seen!”  And, although this car is, without question, incredibly ugly, I wasn’t sure he was entirely accurate.  In fact, it’s NOT the ugliest car I’ve ever seen (see Dear Car...

Dude, Or Douchebag: Vanity Plates, Part Two

As any good lingerie salesperson will tell you, it’s always a good idea to cover up the majority of your junk in front of others.  Just show a peek & you’ll look more appealing.  However, here in LA, that’s really not our speed.  Within the first five minutes of meeting someone new in this town, you’ll learn about which step they’re on (out of the 12), which marriage they’re on,...

Dude, Or Douchebag: Family Stick Figures

They’re terrible.  They’re horrible.  And they’re everywhere.  Family Stick Figures are a menace to society. To me, the more perfect the family seems in sticker form, the more dysfunctional I imagine their reality to be. Like this D-bag who loves Star Wars: Really?  Are you ALL really that into Star Wars?  Then why did I see your kid ’round the back with some Goo Gone & a...

Dude, Or Douchebag: Paint Job

It seems that plenty of people are painting their cars these days in lieu of buying a new one.  Great idea.  And for yours truly, it is a gold mine of material– for there’s no quicker way to ruin a decent car than with a Bad Paint Job. Exhibit A: Granted, in this case, I may be using the term “decent car” rather recklessly, but not as...

Dude Or Douchebag: Parking Jobs

Let's face it parking is complicated.  In fact, like other jobs that women have worked hard to master to please men, parking is hard and takes a lot of practice.  In fact in my own sweet-ass, luxury SUV that I can't afford, I'm spoiled– there is beeping, flashing red lights, a back up camera, even another camera that gives me a overhead snapshot of my parking perspective...