Category: Only In LA

magnus walker

Only In LA: Porsche Orgy In Woodland Hills!

I need not tell you that Los Angeles is filled with Porsches.  It’s pretty much common knowledge. While some find this “ridiculous”, “indulgent” or “offensive”, I have a different word for it. It’s AWESOME. Lemme tell you why.  Here, especially on the West Side of LA, driving a Porsche is kind of normal — as weird as that sounds.  For those of us with Stuttgart dreams,...

Only In LA: The Real Driveways Of Beverly Hills

Beverly Hills. BH. 90210. However you know it, it’s a hell of a town.  These days, instead of being packed with celebrities and paparazzi, Beverly Hills is mainly tourists and wealthy retirees.   Angelinos of the less geriatric and more resident variety only  head to the Hills for one of the following circumstances: a) if we need to go to the doctor for legit reasons (most...

Ain’t No Parade Like A Topanga Parade

‘Cuz a Topanga Parade smells like weed.  This year’s celebration was one for the ages. Sixteen years ago, my husband and I decided that people suck, so we should make our own.  When deciding where to raise them, we figured, ‘Hippies are Better than Yuppies’ so we landed in Topanga Canyon. We weren’t interested in a community, new friends or even a backyard crop of ganja.  But we...

LA’s Hottest New Valet Line (& It’s In The Valley!)

The San Fernando Valley is, as my husband so eloquently describes it, ‘The asshole of LA.’  Only a few people really like to go there, it sure ain’t pretty and, you guessed it, it smells like ass.  However, thanks to Los Angeles’ housing crisis, places like The Valley are newly appealing– the swamp of Playa Vista is now a Millennial Playground, the formerly heroin-infested Downtown...

Rainy Day Retards: Why Angelinos Can’t Drive Wet

Here in LA, our traffic goes from annoying to unbearable the minute anything wet falls from the sky.  People panic, cars crash and any upcoming obligation you have just went from a few hours to a whole day because of one simple thing: Angelinos can’t drive in the rain. Why this phenomenon occurs is a complex, regional issue—compounding the cultural complexities of this diverse ecosystem...

Only In LA: Battle Of The Bad Woody

The other day I was driving around avoiding my parental responsibilities, when I spotted this terrible, awful, fake Woody in a Sprouts parking lot in the valley: Now I’m not saying that covering your Econoline van in an artificial wood wrap is a bad idea.  But I then I walked around to the back: Now I am absolutely saying that wrapping your van in artificial wood...