Drive Bys: Street Signs Are My Prozac
I had a rough week, people. I’m not gonna lie. I know it all looks easy: the brilliant writing career, supermodel looks, mad driving skills & amazingly supportive, check writing readers, but sometimes even I get down. And this week, I did. But then I saw this:
And I lit up. Apparently I was only two letters and a roll of yellow duct tape away from happiness, who knew? Sure, it’s illegal and immature, but it worked. And it’s simple, cheap and doesn’t hurt a fly. In fact, I would argue that if anyone in the world needs to reminded that 4,000 pounds of steel and glass tend to speed up when heading downhill, then perhaps that moron doesn’t deserve a driver’s license. Do they? And even if a good driver didn’t understand simple physics, they couldn’t possibly need a ‘Watch Downhill Speed’ reminder more than I needed to laugh right at that very moment. So, illegal or not, it’s awesome.
And the upsides of treating your depression with traffic signs doesn’t stop there. Think of the nasty side effects I avoid when abstaining from the LA staple drugs like Zoloft and Lexipro. Also, unlike vodka, I never wake up the next morning thinking, ‘I’ll never read that sign again’ or ‘Who is this nasty, smelly sign lying next to me?.’ Thus this is my first line of defense against the realities of middle age. When I’m down, I step away from the prescription bottle and/or martini glass and I go for a drive, keeping my eyes peeled. And guess what? It never fails.
Like the time there was no snow in Lake Tahoe and I was stuck indoors with five screaming children. The minute I left the house, I got this:
Right. Message received– go have some fun.
Or the time I was sick in bed and saw this one the news:
Apparently some brave genius did that on the NJ Turnpike, thus proving that it’s not just a LA phenomenon & the perfect medicine for my illness was, without question, a Chevy Chase movie marathon. Just what the doctor ordered.
And just in case you think this is all West Coast hippie, touchy/feely nonsense, I saw this just this morning:
Sonow I know, it’s all good and my job is to share this with you. Rainbows & unicorns, baby.
This can’t just be my experience. I know you’ve seen hilarious street signs too.. So please share your traffic sign prophecies with me. Tweet them to @motorheadmama, tag me on Instagram, or put it on my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/motorheadmama). And if you haven’t, give it a try. Because you never know how it can change absolutely everything.