Dude Or Dbag: Attention Whores

Los Angeles is, by its nature, filled with extroverts.  Between the actors, the musicians and the unfulfilled dreams, LA is a place where ‘LOOK AT ME’ is our cultural default.  Luckily for me, when this phenom meets LA’s car obsession, the results are magnificent. Or as Einstein so deftly put it:

Attention Whores + Cars = MHM²

Of course, not all of these attention-grabbing displays are that intelligent:

Oh geez. Listen pal, I’m sure that God has many dreams. But I’d bet my left ovary that things like World Peace, Curing Cancer and Solving The Lost Sock Dilemma trump destroying an M3 with snow camo.   Oh and if those are German plates, shouldn’t that read Gottes Traum’? But I digress.

And if you think people are trying to get attention in LA traffic, you should see the nonsense that happens at events. Like this woman that is having her photo taken while she so elegantly leans against this Lambo.  What’s the word for a crotch selfie? Crofie? There really should be one because, according to this chic, it’s now a thing.  I’m sure her parents are very proud.

attention whores

Speaking of classy, how about this guy?

dbag attention whore

Putting aside the douchiness (sorry Spellcheck, it actually IS a word) of his sticker, what’s the goal here? Does he think that this statement will impress his friends? Surely, they like getting laid too. Or is this one for the ladies? ‘Oh yeah, big fella, I love it when you monopolize an entire vehicle segment, it really makes me wet!”  I don’t get it.  If I’m missing something, please let me know..

And then there are those that forget all about their professional reputation:

attention whore la

My friend sent me this one while stuck in traffic, as soon as she stopped laughing.  It is, in fact, hilarious. But here’s what gets me– what does she think is going to happen when she rolls onto set for her big break? That some the director is gonna say, “That car is great. Especially the butterfly tramp stamp. You’ve got the part!” I’m no expert, but if that vehicle isn’t casting kryptonite, I dunno what is.

But sometimes what appears to be douchey can be deceptively cool:

attention whores la

Sure, if you’re gonna slap two BOOB-related bumper stickers on your maroon Astro Van, you’re bound to be get a little attention.  But it turns out that his intentions are actually quite noble. The one on the right is promoting breast cancer awareness ..nice! And the one on the left? It’s simply a culinary declaration, nothing to get worked up about here. The only thing I’d debate is the subtitle… he forgot to mention Hooters’ Buffalo Shrimp.. so tasty!

But the real Dude is this guy:

attention whore la

Yeah, when there’s a white bumper sticker on a black Prius, we assume it’s gonna be another self righteous political statement to make all oil burners feel like crap. But this one is straight up cool. He knows he’s driving an automotive slug and he’s owning that. But he’s simply asking people to dial down the dbag factor, which I respect. God knows, we need fewer of those on the road. Those and Black Priuses 🙂

 

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