Fa, La, La, Bitches! Mama’s Holiday Survival Playlist

This can be a rough time of year. Between the weather, getting ready for the holidays and recovering from the holidays, it can exhausting on every level. When the going gets tough for me, I get in my car, turn up the music and drive. So in the name of peace and joy, here are some of the songs that I’ll be using for automotive emotional therapy this holiday season:

When You’re Going To A New Year’s Eve Where You May Not Know Anyone

“Freak Like Me” by NoMBe

If you walk into a room embracing your freakiness, pretty much nothing can go wrong. This tune has the raw sexuality of early Prince and great layered sounds of Alt-J. I dig it and you will so. The album cover is also handy for a quick pick me up.

When Your Crazy Aunt Tells You She’s Coming For The Holidays..And Staying At Your House

Sheer Mag: Just Can’t Get Enough

If you’re wondering where punk rock has gone, search no more. Sheer Mag has nailed this great gritty, retro, analog sound. Helped by lead singer, Tina Halladay’s insane vocal style, their sound is equally refreshing and reminiscent of when we were all younger, had more hair and fewer bills. Turn it right up– you may just remember how cool you are.

When You Realize That Your Bills Are Fat & Your Wallet Is Slim

“That’s Alright” by Ranky Tanky.

I’m a firm believer that there isn’t anything that can go wrong in the world that can’t be solved by gospel music– which may seem unusual coming from this preppy Connecticut native.  But gospel don’t judge.  Ranky Tanky is a South Carolina band that takes spiritual classics and reinterprets them with a modern sound. When all is lost, these songs will save you too.

When Your Kid Is Xmas Tree #5 In The Holiday Performance

Mommy Tonk “Enriched”

It’s easy to get competitive at the holidays. Whaddya get? Wheredu go? Whatchu doin? All that crap. Inevitably, you’ll fall short compared to somebody. Guess what? Mommy Tonk don’t give a f*ck. These two hilarious women call bullsh*t on everything that annoys you about parenthood. With their sweet songwriting and a kick ass band, Mommy Tonk is guaranteed to turn your kids’ disastrous report card into a piece of comedy. “Enriched” is a modern motherhood classic..

When You Waited In Line For That Must Have Toy, But Your Kid Changed Their Mind..On Xmas Eve

“The Answer” Fireball Ministry

Big. Dumb. Rock. Those were the words that Fireball Ministry’s lead singer, Jim Rota, once used to describe his band. If you think that doesn’t appeal to you, I dare you to put on this album and not want to jump in a muscle car and put your right foot on the floor. Air guitar: optional. But it will absolutely fuel you all the way through that return line at Target so you can exchange Clubhouse Barbie for the Enchantimals Playhouse Panda Set..

When The Only Gift Your Spouse Wants Costs $5k

Me to  husband, “What do you want for Xmas?”

Husband to me, “This here carbon fiber street bike that I’ve saved on my phone.” The only thing that will keep me from laughing in his face are the Queens Of The Stone Age:

The Way You Used To Do

This is one of the greatest driving songs of the year. With its slow build, rhythmic hand clapping, gritty guitar and infectious yet impossible vocals, you’ll want to be on the open road without witnesses or speed traps when you let loose with this song. In fact,  I’m considering sending my speeding tickets to frontman Josh Homme.

Even if you don’t agree with my taste, that’s cool.  Just remember that music soothes the savage beast– or something like that. For now, I’ll settle for being less of a bitch.  Happy Whatever You Celebrate People! Muh muh, Mama.

 

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