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I See London, I See France, These Cars Look Like Underpants

Of all of the bizarre car trends of late, the one that perplexes me the most is the nude car.  I can handle the colored wheels, bedazzled license plates are fine, even a pimped out Prius doesn't seem as wrong as it used to. But some things just need to stay in the fashion world and not cross over. Case in point, the flesh colored car.

I don't get it, I mean, Porsche's got the same color and is calling it "cream." But to me, it looks like this:

That's right, the nude hooker shoe.  Known for the magical trifecta of making your mate think your legs are longer, your pole dancing stronger and your gag reflex weaker, it has been all the rage in fashion this year. But does it really need to be your ride?

I mean, is driving this supposed to make your knuckles look smaller?  Your neck look longer?  Please, enlighten me. And it wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't EVERYWHERE. Check this out:

Infinti, Porsche, VW, Audi, Ford..I even saw a Jeep Laredo disguised as a hooker shoe.  That's one confused off roader.

So, go ahead, bring your slutty fashion sense to the car dealership! But, please, use it to do something useful like seducing your way to a lower monthly payment, not creating a traffic eyesore. Thanks.