Motorhead Mama Blog

Freak Of The Week: Rainbow Connection

It may not have rained in LA for 2 years, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t just see a Rainbow, right where I least expect to: Yeah, I know. You’re welcome. Here’s why it’s unexpected– this rainbow Mercedes is parked on the revered San Vicente strip in Santa Monica.  This is one of those lovely tree lined LA streets with a big fat, grassy median where rich people work out with their lovers...

On The Road With Mama: Chapter 1 PCH

Funny thing about moving to LA is that, at first, everyone mocks you. “Are you gonna get fake boobs?” they ask. (Hell yeah I am. Right away.) “Make sure to read the NY Times, everyone out there is dumb.” they say. (I prefer to study the LA art of converting stupidity into cash) “You’ll be back next year”  they say.  (But I didn’t.) I’ll tell you what did happen,...

Dear Volvo, You’re A Punk Ass Bitch…

…and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Here’s why: You used to be cool.  Remember that?  Remember when the people who drove a Volvo wagon were hippies, free thinkers, those that didn’t need to fit in? Remember when having a Volvo wagon had nothing to do with having kids? Remember when you had a sense of humor? Remember when you knew a little something about design? How did you...

Dude, or Douchebag: Roadside Safari

It all started with one, West Hollywood Zebra Douchebag.  Like most tragic tales do.  One afternoon, I spotted a crazy-looking zebra car parked in front of my office.  And it went a little somethin’ like this: So, of course, I ran out and paced around the thing, looking for some type of clue.  It must have a “Save The Zebras” magnet on the side or perhaps the driver side door would read...

Car Slut Confessions: A Man(ual) On The Side

Alright. You want the truth? I’m not satisfied at home. Nope, not even close. On the outside, it all looks perfect– I get all the action I want, with a real hottie, the type most women would kill for, but when it comes to giving me real joy, we just don’t connect. I am of course talking about my daily drive. I drive a luxury SUV, which for...

The Motorhead Guide to Hawaii

As the fearless observer of what’s happening on the streets, I sometimes feel like it’s not fair for me to only cover the manicured boulevards of Beverly Hills or the magnificent roads of Malibu. Sometimes I need to keep it real. So I recently headed to Hawaii. Here’s the thing about the Aloha State.  People who’ve never been there like to say ‘it’s too commercialized’, ‘too touristy’ or the latest:...