Motorhead Mama Blog

Evaluate Your Date (In The Driveway): 5 Clues

More powerful than shoe size! More accurate than 10 tax returns! This undocumented, entirely unresearched, purely anecdotical guide will help you decipher if your potential partner is a stud or a dud. #1 Vintage: If he shows up in a car that was made before you were born, this could go two ways. If it sounds like a power boat and smells like a gas-station,...

VW: Get Happy Yourself

All kinds of people are worked up this week with VW’s “racist” Super Bowl ad “Get Happy.” Somehow, someone got in their crazy skull that white people are uptight and often turn to reggae to mellow out. That’s crazy– I thought every college kid in America had a Bob Marley poster on their wall because they’re secretly devoted to Haile Selassie (who’s that you ask?...

PMS On Wheels: Good Times

It’s easy to argue that every day millions of irritable, irrational, bleeding bitches clog our roadways with their inept driving. However, pre-menstral driving is actually a very important contributor to female car culture. Here are the 5 Highlights: #1 Cars always think you’re hot. Even if you’re retaining water like the Hoover Dam or have a Rudoph-like zit on your nose, a car doesn’t mind....

Dude Or Douchebag: Car Upholstery

Let's face it, car upholstery has had its ups (any Mercedes before 1975) and its downs (Levi's Edition Gremlin, anyone?). But lately, it just seems like we're settling for way less than our fat asses deserve. There was a time, not so long ago, that being a Dude with your car interior was easy, because that's how it came off the line (cue Barry White):...

Best of 2012

What a year! We had no Hummers, plenty of hybrids & more remakes than Joan River’s face. Here are some of the highs: Geeks Ruled– In 2012, it doesn’t take a lot of dough to get you noticed. In a time when first car is no longer synonymous with 3-series, there were some real beaters that looked super cool and may have even gotten some...

‘Twas The Night After Xmas: A Holiday Hangover

‘Twas the night after Christmas when all through the car, All the creatures were stirring, but not getting too far, The children were farting in their seat belts without care, While Mama sat in traffic, praying that we’d soon be there. The kiddies scarfed Cheetos with fingers turned red, While visions of Downton and margaritas danced in my head, Mama in her wisdom, had pulled...