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Top 5 Reasons LA Is Better With Latinos

This weekend, I went to my first Quinceanera. Driving home from this insane Mexican rite of passage with a belly full of carne asada and the kind of acid reflux that only a cheap margarita could bring..it made me think: LA Without Latinos is like a margarita without salt or tequila– sticky sweet with no bite.  So for those of you that think Los Angeles is all surfer dudes and plastic boobs, I give you my top 5 Latino contributions (from a motorhead perspective):

Reason #5: Speed Isn’t The Only Option

Sometimes it’s better to tilt the seat back, crank up Cheech & Chong and smoke a fatty while your rear bumper scrapes along the asphalt.

Reason #4: If You Can’t Afford A One of A Kind Vehicle…Make One!

You could work three jobs in order to afford a numbered Alpina 7 Series, only to find that the parking spot next to yours at the gym has a newer one in 11 months. Or you can grab your favorite soccer team’s logo, a few stickers and go to town:

Reason #3: Latino Women Put Junk In Their Trunk

And occasionally steal husbands from rich, skinny white chics.  Pass the guacamole!

Reason #2: Some Things Are More Important Than MPG

Like how dope you look while cruisin’ with your homies. Maybe that’s why so few Latinos drive Priuses..

 

Reason #1: Latinos Have A Sense Of Humor

Latinos can have a good time in a shoe box.  While the white people are checking their stock portfolios and getting ulcers about the melting polar ice caps, Latinos are naming their bakeries after Sarah Palin:

Andale!

So regardless of whoever wins in November, remember this: Latinos are an important part of American culture. Here in LA, we’d be nothing but a lime slushy without them.