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‘Twas The Night After Xmas: A Holiday Hangover

‘Twas the night after Christmas when all through the car,
All the creatures were stirring, but not getting too far,
The children were farting in their seat belts without care,
While Mama sat in traffic, praying that we’d soon be there.

The kiddies scarfed Cheetos with fingers turned red,
While visions of Downton and margaritas danced in my head,
Mama in her wisdom, had pulled an all-nighter to wrap,
Had barely recovered from the long night of crap.

When out on the freeway there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my rear view to see what was the matter,
Away to the mirror I flew like a flash,
Rolled down my window, almost puked on the dash.

The headlights up my rear and the roar of the engine,
Gave the hint of horsepower and some serious fuel injection.
When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But some douche on his Ducati with a bitch on the rear.

With the pulse of his throttle so sexy and slick,
I knew in a moment, they were free & childless- what dicks!
More rapid than Lambos, their passing came quick,
And he whistled, she winked and I immediately felt sick.

Now Triumph! Now, Beemer! Now Harley & Aprilla!
On, Indian! On, Triton! On, Moto Guzzi, I’ll see ya!
To the top of the Observatory! To the lines at the mall!
Now dash away you hipsters, cuz when the traffic lightens, Mama’s gonna smoke you all!

2 thoughts on “‘Twas The Night After Xmas: A Holiday Hangover”

  1. You could definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.

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