Dude, Or Douchebag: Parking Jobs ’14

Truth is, I’m as guilty as the next guy.  My car has mirrors, sensors, cameras–everything but a midget parking assistant in my glove box (although I did post the position on Craig’s List)– but even I often fail to park well.  But I’d like to think that my occasional parking offenses don’t have much affect others.  Not like this douchebag:

Bad Parking

Sure, the white line overage is minimal, but this is Target on a Sunday, homie.  The rest of us are wrangling our kids through a maze of strollers, side mirrors and moving cars, while you’re enjoying the freedom of two spaces?  Not cool.  Too bad you chose a spot next to the shopping cart enclosure, I predict some red plastic streak marks in your future.

And then there are the guy that commits a major douchebag offense, but it’s so bad that you actually pity his stupidity:

Bad ParkingUm…really? The only saving grace is that this is clearly a rental car.  Thus the poor fella is probably jet lagged, beaten down by the LA traffic and flabbergasted by our frightening roadways. So I actually pity the fool. But this guys’ getting no slack:

Bad Parking

Honey, that’s a new Camaro. I know the concrete wall is scratchy and scary, but if you’re gonna rock a black American muscle car, you can’t park like a pussy.  Come on now. Pussy parking is hardly the problem here:

Bad Parking

Yup, she rolls right in and straddles that white line like a Kardashian on a first date.  But I think that’s standard operating procedure for someone buys a car that’s designed by a handbag.  You were a d-bag even before you parked.

Now if all of this pathetic parking has got your panties in a bundle, have no fear.  Mama’s got just the remedy. The Motorhead Mama parking ticket is here:

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If you live in LA and would like some, DM me on Twitter & we’ll send some your way! You’re welcome…

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