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Dude, Or Douchebag: Wheels

You know how some women look at a man’s shoes to figure out if he’s cool?  Yeah, if that’s new information to you, fellas, you may reconsider those Topsiders. I’ll admit, I do about the same thing with wheels.

You may not have a lot of dough, maybe you have a white SUV because that’s what you’ve had for ages.  And then you do this to it:

I hope you can see that. Not only are they matte black, but there’s a star (like a stud) in the center.  That’s a dude!


And then there’s the other guy, who may not have a lot of money. Maybe he drives a Lincoln he inherited from his grandparents (the only possible way I can see someone under 70 driving a Lincoln).  He’s taken his barista tips and done this:

You silly Douchebag, the shiny wheels never work. Silly, Douchebag!






Here’s where it gets weird.  Then there’s the guy who is clearly a freak.  He wears a poncho and flip flops in winter. But somehow, his confidence, even as people point and stare, is impenetrable.  You know what this says to me?  a) he’s well hung, b) he knows who he his, c) he doesn’t care what other people think or d) he’s a dude. Answer= all of the above.

Mr. Z-car is clearly in this category:

You go, Mr. Z car. Let your freak flag fly!