Last night, my husband and I had THE TALK. You know, the one where he tries to convince me to do something I am fundamentally scared of, even if every cell in my body desires it. We had a distinct sense of urgency because, after years of waiting, we finally had our chance to do the unthinkable. Because today, BMW announced that the M5 wagon would soon be available in the United States.
And if you, dear reader, had the same reaction (shock, awe, heart palpitations) when you read this news, I have news for you: I’m here to help convince your wife, your partner, your significant other to embrace their inner Motorhead Mama and get this badass M5 wagon.
Trust Me, I Raised Two Daughters On M Power
I only wanted to drive the M5 wagon when my kids were little. But, because it wasn’t available stateside, I spent a lot of money settling for less. I drove a fancy Mercedes wagon and got bored. Then I worked through the BMW X5 and its engine sizes (4.0, 4.4, 4.8) until I finally got the X5m. Though I don’t regret the X5m, if I had the choice between it and the M5 wagon today, I’d be hard-pressed to get the SUV based on the following:
No “Are We There Yet?” Moments
While kids in standard SUVs may get restless, the ones riding in a low-slung chariot with 727 hp and 737 lb-ft of torque are never bored. And if they are, you’re driving it wrong. Your wife or partner may say they don’t need all of that power, but I beg to differ.
Girl Power Is Real (in an M5 Wagon)
As a mom whose daughters begged her to “push the M button,” I can tell you this: horsepower and torque are excellent female empowerment tools. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how much physical muscle you have or if you can tinker under the hood; behind the wheel, it’s all about your brain. There is no better way to show young women they can do or be anything than to put them in a car whose performance is only limited by their fear.
Becky From The PTA Will Be Terrified
Women are competitive by nature. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never engaged in the ultimate blood sport – Black Friday shopping. Successfully convincing your wife to buy an M5 wagon requires you to lean into her competitiveness. Start by identifying her nemesis (examples include that b*tch Karen from soccer practice, the condescending wench from the office, or maybe her high school avenger) and declaring that person’s envy for the vehicle. Then, you can up the ante by stirring up the irresistible cocktail of jealousy and fear. The next thing you know, your driveway will be sporting this masterpiece.
Don’t Worry Honey, It’s a Hybrid
Maybe your significant other worries about gas prices, the environment, or both. Perfect! Luckily, the M5 wagon is powered by an electric motor, enabling up to 42 miles of electric-only driving. It’s estimated that 26 mpg is way more efficient than my X5m, which, on a good day, gets me 14 mpg. Oops!
But What About Safety?
First of all, this is still a BMW. Standard safety features include lane departure warning, evasion assistance, and attentive assistance. Then there’s just the basic fact that with precise BMW driving, your collision avoidance capability is bar none. Ask me how often I’ve been in an accident in my X5m—touch wood, zero!
It’s Like A Nice Handbag, You Can Drive
Let’s face it: at roughly $122,675, the 2025 BMW M5 Touring wagon doesn’t come cheap. But if your partner is someone who buys designer clothes and fancy shoes and isn’t afraid to drop thousands on a handbag, you’re golden! Simply remind her that during school carpool, no one can see the logo on your belt, the embossing on your hobo bag, or the diamonds on your watch. But they’d have to be clueless to miss this glorious hunk of metal:
There’s Just One Catch…
As much as I want to convince your wife to drive this car, I say all this with one disclaimer: I haven’t driven the BMW M5 Touring wagon yet. Everything I’ve said above is as an M-car driver, a performance enthusiast, and a mom who believes wholeheartedly that motherhood is far more enjoyable with face-melting daily driver. The minute I do get to drive it, I’ll tell you (and your wife) everything.