As you may remember from Episode One of DODB Part One, I’m a pick up girl. If you’re not, you’re simply not American and thus, a douchebag. So stop reading now.
Now that we’ve weeded out the losers, let’s move on. Let’s begin with the Dude:
Lil’ Red Truck– in ’78 that was the fastest American car from 0 to 100mph. Try saying that about your F150. I don’t understand why there aren’t high performance pickups anymore. Neither does this guy:
Anyone who will take a hacksaw to a Merc, gets my vote. That is badass! And because he’s a badass, Merc-hacking service guy– he’s getting a plug: G&N Motors in West LA. You’re welcome.
Speaking of hacksaws, I dunno how Spidey pulled this off, but I’m digging it:
He may be behind the wheel in a spandex costume reciting Tobey MacGuire’s lines with fishing nets tucked up his sleeves, but I’m erring on the side of optimism and calling him a Dude.
Sometimes the transformation to Dude requires only can of paint & a sordid sense of humor:
Yeah, you’re right. I could’ve gotten a better shot if I’d moved in a little closer, but anyone who’s posting a Keep Out sign around of a trailer is likely to packin’ and/or cooking meth. And I happen to like my teeth. So suck it.
And without further ado, I give you the ultimate pickup destroying Douchebag: that prize goes to whoever designed this travesty:
Ug, this hurts my eyes. Go bad to design school, Douchebag.