The older I get, the more I understand one thing: Metal is wasted on the young. As many people age, their taste in music gets softer, more sophisticated, and more refined. Though that may track with traditional ideas of ‘adulthood,’ I beg to differ. I think that the older we get, the more complicated our lives become, and that’s when we need Heavy Metal, Big Dumb Rock, and anything that helps us with rage, frustration, and middle-age milieu– particularly behind the wheel. So, if you’re in need of an anger outlet, check out some of the songs in my Middle-Aged Metal Playlist below; it is sure to resurface your inner headbanger.
Olympic Level Metal For The Middle Aged: Gojira
The best moment from the Paris Olympics was when Gojira teamed up with opera singer Maria Viotti to shred the opening ceremony. If you didn’t get up from your Lay Z Boy and throw horns during this epic performance, you’d better get your head examined. Or at least listen to them tell the story of how it happened here:
To support and enjoy Gojira by buying some tunes, click here.
The Man Got You Down? Take 100 Gecs
Not necessarily a metal band, 100 Gecs is considered hyper pop but that doesn’t mean they can’t rock. But if you need a song that will help you bang it all out, particularly if you’re female and someone else thinks you’re “the Dumbest Girl Alive,” this song will do the trick.
Get some 100 Gecs here.
Who Needs Viagra When You’ve Got Clutch!
Of course, I will love a song whose first words are “Dodge Swinger 1973,” and the fact that their band name is officially my favorite thing to touch with my left foot doesn’t hurt either. But Clutch isn’t just a heavy rock band; they are automotive poets. Consider these lyrics from ‘Spacegrass’:
Once around the Sun, cruising, climbing.
Jupiter cyclops winks at me, yeah, he knows who’s driving.
Hit neutral in the tail of a comet.
Let the vortex pull my weight.
Push the seat back a little lower.
Watch light bend in the blower.
Planets align.
A king is born.
Dodge Swinger.
Jesus on the dashboard.
As someone who lives to bring others along when I’m having the time of my life behind the wheel, I think Clutch has done something amazing here—they’ve captured lighting in a bottle. That feeling when you’re behind the wheel, ready to hit the gas, and you know something is about to happen. Bam! “A king is born.”
If you’re driving to something boring: to meet with the accountant, your divorce attorney, or a colonoscopy, do yourself a favor, cue up some Clutch. Or buy some here.
Tackle Middle Age The Best Way, With Turnstile
Baltimore band Turnstile gets a lot of press for good reasons. If it all sounds too rough for your old ass ears, start with ‘Mystery.’
There’s a clock in my head
Is it wrong, is it right?
I know you’re scared of running out of time
But I’m afraid tooAnd it’s been so long
Is all the mystery gone?
And it’s been so long
All the mystery
I doubt those lyrics were written about perimenopausal brain fog and middle-aged marriage meh, but it sure captures it perfectly! Bonus: the chorus is perfectly timed for running through 5th gear. Go ahead and try your manual mode while blasting this song. You can thank me later!
Middle Age Angst? Yeah, There’s A Blood Type For That
If you’re a child of the 80s like myself, you know goth rock. My coming-of-age soundtrack features Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus, Siouxsie, and The Cult. But you don’t have to go all the back to the early 80s for goth rock. Molchat Doma, She Past Away, and Kill Shelter are all current bands that capture that black eyeliner and combat boot spirit and serve it hot and fresh in the 21st century. In between, there’s Type O Negative, whose tenure was sadly cut short in the early 2000s, yet their sounds still endure. ‘I Love You To Death’ is the perfect ballad for middle age—where you’re on the verge of murdering your spouse, articulating your devotion to your grown children, or professing your love to your Labrador Retriever, this is the Swiss Army Knife of power ballads.
If you have other metal suggestions, hit me up on social or share in the comments below.