Dear Motorhead Mama,
This week, my lemon of a Volvo station wagon finally died. The car's been a pain in the you-know-what since day one. But now that's it's gone, I'm at a loss. I'm not convinced that I really need another wagon (we have a second, larger car), and can't justify an SUV since we live in the city (most women in my neighborhood drive an Audi) My kids are older now, so we're past car seats and diaper changes in the way back. I am secretly wanting to drive something fun–is that possible? It just seems like my only alone time is my commute to work. But the whole idea of car shopping scares me so much that I wonder if I should just get another Volvo. Better the devil you know…right?
Sincerely,
Seeking A Suburban Solution
Dear Triple S,
I too know what it's like to mourn the loss of a long time auto, but let me be the first to welcome you to 2013 AV (After Volvo). Because this is your year, sister! This is the year you embrace a commute without the stench of Cheerio encrusted car seats! This is the year that you put Public Enemy back on heavy rotation, roll down the windows, and smoke a cigarette/let your hair down/ don your push-up bra/whatever it takes to make you feel more like Madonna: Truth Or Dare than Madonna: Mother and Child.
I agree that the Audi is our generation's definitive douchebag automobile. And why most women in North America feel compelled to get an all-terrain vehicle the minute they reproduce baffles me. Any Italian mother will stuff her 4 kids & mother-in-law in a Fiat 500 with a smile. And plenty of Dutch moms can balance 2 kids, a newborn and a week's worth of groceries on a bike (in clogs no less). Running out of space isn't a real problem, losing your mojo is.
A fun commute is important. I practice this every day and can assure you, it is the one and only thing that keeps Child Protective Services at bay. What about a BMW x1? A Mini Countryman? Even the Ford Flex has an insanely loyal following. If you can stall for about 6 months, Tesla promises us the Model X which (although I haven't driven one) appears to be a vehicle that you can simultaneously achieve tree hugger, speed racer and MILF status in. So that may be worth the wait.
Whatever you do, don't go back to the Volvo. Remember that guy that you screwed in college who treated you like crap, dumped you on Valentine's Day and then seduced you on your birthday? He is your Volvo. Sure, he got the job done a couple of times, but so does the Hitachi Magic Wand.. and it didn't give you herpes. You're older, wiser and (surely) way hotter now, so put your troubles down, it's time to celebrate!