If you live in America right now, you know that our country is deeply divided about two things: politics and the Netflix series ‘The Hunting Wives.’ It’s sexy, it’s salacious, and people are either banning it or binge-watching it. I am in the latter category. You can go ahead and judge me, but I swear, I was only watching for the cars. You will, too, by the time I’m done with you. Check it out:
****Warning: there will be spoilers in this post***
‘HUNTING WIVES’ KILLER CAR #1: MARGO’S TRUCK
Women who love their trucks are a special breed. But those who paint, polish, lower, and pinstripe theirs, well, that’s some next-level commitment. So when Margo tosses her keys to Sophie (“the Liberal Yankee”) and invites her to have her maiden manual transmission experience on Margo’s truck, I call BS.
However, the sexual undertones are so intense, you almost want to forgive the fact that she’s burning donuts at 8,000 RPMs. If that upsets you, just wait–it’s about to get worse!
SOPHIE’S FAMILY CAR, OH THE JOKES!
In the opening scene, our first impressions of the star couple are a little confusing. Sophie arrives home in an Uber, which is a little weird. We will soon find out that she “doesn’t drive” in the same way she “doesn’t drink” and is “heterosexual”, but I’m getting ahead of myself. But things get super sketchy when she and her husband jump in the family car to go to the boss’s house:
Sure, her husband is a Harvard wonk who drops his Alma mater into every encounter as often as Margo drops her pants. But otherwise, he seems like a nice guy who genuinely wants the best for his family. That is, until the roll up to the bosses’ place like this:
Now if those hideous windows don’t scream Caution: This-Home-Is-Brought-To-You-By-A-Sex-Crazed-White-Trash-Sociopath-Second-Wife, I dunno what does. But that’s another post; let’s get back to Sophie O’Neill and her oh-so sweet yet sexually unsatisfying husband Graham (come on, now, you’re thinking it too). They arrive in a Tesla Model Y with Massachusetts plates at a Texas mansion currently hosting an NRA fundraiser. If there ever was a time for an EV joke, it was upon their introduction. Instead, the wives are flashing each other and bonding over Xanax in the bathroom.
Now I know that Texas is doing its best to embrace Elon given his newfound conservative leanings, but you will never convince me that no one at that party tossed a “real men drive trucks” or “libtard” towards the O’Neills. I only needed one. Next season, do better! I can get over it if they show me more of this:
‘THE HUNTING WIVES’ AWESOME CAR #2: SOPHIE’S CHOICE
Once fun Sophie comes out to play, we find that she can not only drink, drive, and plays for both teams but…
she’s been hiding this under a cover in her driveway all along:
My eyes saw a 3-series. If you want to convince me it is a 6-series, please fight with me on social media. I’m down!
**UPDATE: I FOUND OUT WHAT IT IS!!!**
Guys–I got an email about this car! It was from the guy who owns the exact BMW used in the show! He lives in GA, and the producers rented his 1977 BMW 530i (E12) in Topaz Braun Metallic after seeing it on FB marketplace.
He told me a story about how the crew taught Brittney Snow to drive a stick shift in this car. We had a good laugh over the damage to his clutch, which he says was worth it. Then our conversation turned into our shared passion for vintage BMWs, similar daily drivers (both Ms), and how driving fast with your kids in the car is good parenting!
But the point is, Sophie is like us! She has a vintage BMW!! Not just any vintage BMW: a deep brown, perfectly restored model with gorgeous wheels and …wait for it…a manual transmission! You’ve never seen a woman press a rewind button more quickly than the moment I spotted that third pedal on screen. The betrayal! Did she pretend she was stick-illiterate just to lure Margo, or is this simply something the producers missed? I don’t know — but I need answers! Sigh..
‘THE HUNTING WIVES’ CAR PERFECTION #3: MARGO’S BOY TOY
You know the type. The entitled teen jock who thinks the world rotates around his loins. This guy, who is concurrently banging both the central victim and the future governor’s wife, deserves an award for his ambition alone. Being the son of a mega church preacher, his ride is perfectly cast —the mojito green Rubicon Wrangler complete with a Warn winch, bull bars, and enough lighting to illuminate half of Texas. Love it. What he doesn’t get? Jeeps are for girls:
Sorry, Brad, I know this is hard to swallow
Let’s get back to Margo.
‘THE HUNTING WIVES’ CAR PERFECTION #4: MARGO’S Z4 BMW
I know Margo isn’t supposed to be likable. She’s supposed to be deceptive, manipulative, and borderline psychotic. However, when the Z4 convertible (thanks, Brent) is her backup ride, complete with red leather interior, you can’t help but think, “Nah, she’s good.”
Plus, it makes a stunning backdrop for blackmail.
The one rub? When she drove it to her brother’s trailer park. Way to stay anonymous, Snowflake! There’s no way the drug dealers and money launderers will spot you now! Ug.
But the best, the brightest, and the whole hilarious automotive moment in the entire series was… drumroll please…
THE WORLD’S WORST CAR CHASE
When Pastor Pete goes on the run and Salazar is on his tail, The Hunting Wives blesses us with a car chase between a Prius and a Honda Pilot with a trailer (see timecode 02;43 in the trailer above). It is so awful, like watching two injured turtles drag race, but it works out in the end, so what is there to say but..
What did I miss? What do you want to see next season? Let me know on social @motorheadmama.