Dude or Dbag: Outfits Of The LA Auto Show

Fresh off of the LA Auto Show press days, I’m now back at work, trying to address what is likely your biggest question, “What was everyone wearing?”

Auto journalists are not exactly known for their keen fashion sense. Given that most spend their time either driving (on their butts), writing (sitting down) or drinking (again, on the ass) it isn’t a profession particularly conducive to fitness either.  So when auto journalists have to go an auto show, this requires terrifying things like wearing pants without a drawstring & shaving. It can be a challenge. Good thing the bar is low:

dudes in suits

Industry auto show attire generally consists of an array of ill fitting, grey to black suits for the men and painful ensembles for women:

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By painful, I mean in the podiatric sense.  Women often wear heels to look ‘professional’ which is ridiculous. But don’t tell her boss:

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Yes booth babes are much less offensive these days.  But there are still exceptions because these gigs start early & the guys need a little something to get the blood flowing:

perilli booth babes

But journalists have it rougher than even the booth babes because we need to a) carry stuff that isn’t implanted, b) walk around a lot more  & c) we really prefer to be, well,  on our asses.  That said, let’s get to the d-bags, shall we?

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I get the urge to wear sneakers, pal. I really do.  But how about we lay off the sparkle jeans, huh? That’s just upsetting. Plus, even my cheap, bottled blonde ass got my hair done before this show. My eyeballs beg you to do the same.

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Hey Euro Guy, those glasses are entirely excusable cuz your accent probably overrides it. But listen up, Mr. Man Bun. I don’t care if your Dutch fashion guide says that a loose knot is still cool. Here in America it’s undeniably douchey. You’re lucky that mama left her clippers at home.

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I’m not a fan at poking at people’s weight. However, I’m pretty sure this guy’s thinking “time to eat the donuts” and that suit needs help.

Thank God I ran into this breath of fresh air in the Media Room:

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Pink corduroy pants and a soul patch? He’s LA in the Northern Hemisphere and Connecticut in the Southern.  Dude status regardless.

Of course, not everyone can rock a fly denim-on-denim ensemble like me and Mark Stevenson from The Truth About Cars:

mark stevenson ttac

Oh, um..ok. Fine:

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But in the sea of depressing douchebaggery, the one get up that really stuck out, the one that really made an impression, was this:

pac man suit

That’s right. It’s a Pac Man suit and it’s genius. It says both “technology is cool” & “I can kick it old skool” at the same time. It’s fantastic and completely dude worthy. One request– please buy them in bulk and hand them out as show schwag next year!

 

1 Response

  1. Anonymous says:

    millennial bro buns seem to be sticking around. The mullet was up and out pretty quickly. Every generation needs its fop male style.

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