I dunno who said, “Eyes Are The Window Into The Soul.” It was like Jesus, Shakespeare or Leonardo Di Vinci, maybe Leonardo Di Caprio, somebody important. Anyway, that person was never stuck on La Cienega for 20 minutes waiting for the light to change while some d-bag in a Porsche pouted on his cell phone about blowing out his $500 tire. Because if he was, he would know what I know, which is: Bumper Stickers Are The Window Into The Soul.
Bumper Stickers tell you who is the optimist:
And who is the pessimst: (notice which one has the nicer truck)
Who is a perpetual cheater:
And who is perpetually alone:
Sometimes you realize that someone may have unrealistic expectations:
Or unrealistic self importance:
Either way, the bumper sticker can be an important insight. So when you meet someone new, take a minute in the parking lot and do a lap around the their trunk, you might learn something that you wished you’d known long before.
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Though there is no conclusive evidence about the effectiveness of these stickers, white people show no signs of abandoning the campaign. In fact, there is a popular tale in white mythology that tells of an unenlightened man driving on the freeway who saw a bumper sticker on the back of a Subaru station wagon that said “Go Veg.” The sticker was so moving that he threw the hamburger he was eating right out the window and became a vegetarian on the spot. Two days later, he affixed the same bumper sticker to their car and the process began anew until enough people had changed their views to form what we now know as the city of Portland, Oregon.
And I was just wnodering about that too!