Dude Or Douchebag: False Advertising

One of my favorite douchebag moves is the guy who plasters with their crappy car with various "racing" stickers.  To me, it's pretty much the same as wearing a padded push up bra: it may work as bait, but isn't your catch going to realize pretty quickly that it was only false advertising? Like this one:

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I don't care how car-illeterate you are, no one is dumb enough to think this beater has anything to do with Toyota racing. But it's so ridiculous, I can't even call you a douchebag. 

Same for Beetle dude. Yup this is a Beetle:

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Congratulations! No amount of yellow paint can make that thing fun over 45mph. 

When it's particularly douchey, is when you're not even respectful of authenticity:

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What's funny is that the M is less than two feet from the real model number.  To ease the pain, I like to envision a bitchy teenager begging her stepfather for an M3 and him saying "Sure Brittney", rolling his eyes and then slapping the M emblem on the 328 as she drives, blissfully unaware, from Beverly Hills BMW. Does that make me a bad person? Whatever.

You know who's a really bad person? Any douchebag who adorns their Prius with Ferrari stickers. So maybe you're a tree-hugging, environmentally-responsible douchebag, but you're a douchebag nonetheless.

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The only time false advertising makes you a Dude is when you're the kind of guy that puts a 911 Porsche engine in a VW bus.  Because there's nothing cooler than doing bong hits behind tinted glass while you're buddy gets you to Burning Man an hour ahead of the other douchebags:

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7 thoughts on “Dude Or Douchebag: False Advertising”

    1. Good point, Bob. It actually is an engine swap. I wrote this before I knew the guy! And after my recent encounter driving an ’86 Vanagon, I can see why! I kept wondering if I could downshift to first 🙂
      Thanks for the comment.

  1. You know who’s a really bad person? Any douchebag who adorns their Prius with Ferrari stickers. So maybe you’re a tree-hugging, environmentally-responsible douchebag, but you’re a douchebag nonetheless.

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