Freak Of The Week: Big Gay Prius

One of the things that makes my life worth living is the car photos I receive via text, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.  I get them from kids, family, readers, my car wash guy, and even random overseas followers—it’s an international potpourri of car madness & I love it.  But sometimes, just sometimes, I get one that stops me in my tracks.  Like the Big Gay Prius:

My friend David sent me this photo a few days ago, and I replied with just one question, “Where can I see THAT?” His answer couldn’t have been more predictable: “Near the Big Gay Starbucks in West Hollywood.”  Duh. Of course it was. That car is undoubtedly not a straight person’s passion project. That kind of brilliant detail, that out of the box thinking, that blatant f** you to the Prius community could only be created by Mama’s favorite variety of fruit– the gay man. It was perfection, and I had to see it for myself. And I did!

Let’s Start From The Top

First of all, there’s a unicorn hood ornament:

And the gas cap in a contrasting variety of duct tape?

The Big Gay Prius Will Not Be Silenced!

There’s even a rainbow air freshener to seal the deal:

For the very first (and likely only) time in my life, I almost wanted a Prius. But then I thought about how it was probably made by some aspiring filmmaker who recently moved out here from Oklahoma and in the process came out of the closet.  Afterward, he decided to create a rolling homage to his newfound sexual orientation.  Fantastic! I was no longer envious, but happy for him and his new life as a Big Gay Californian (albeit slightly concerned with my ability to create a fictional character from a car, but I digress).

What Ruined This Car For Me

Then I opened this photo:

and Googled Sparkle Aria to see what that’s all about. Apparently, this isn’t a gay man’s car at all! It was created by a woman, a seemingly straight one at that.  The kind of woman whose website says, “Snuggles are like vitamins to the soul.”  Oh boy.  And this, her #sparklemobile (yes, it has a hashtag), is her calling card.

Somehow, all of a sudden, I loved it less.  I really wanted this to be just a guy’s coming-out party, not a woman’s fashion show. Which, I know, is ridiculous; the car didn’t change. The unicorn was just as awesome, the bedazzling just as brilliant, the composition just as fantastic.  So what was my problem?

Why It’ll Always Be The Big Gay Prius To Me

The fact is, people and their cars are often not what they appear to be.  I mean, look at me, a nice, seemingly normal, vaguely preppy Westside mother of two running around LA snapping car photos and then writing about them in a potty-mouthed blog. Who am I to say that the Big Gay Prius has to be created by a man at all? Or a gay one at that?  Therefore, I accept and celebrate you #sparkmobile and all of your duct tape glory.  Just don’t be pissed if I still refer to you as BGP!