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Hey Ladies!

I love women. No really, I do (not like that, you perv). I’ve got a sweet posse of female friends, a real live sister, I even grew two little ones in my stomach–squeezed them out and kept them. If that’s not love, what is?

But when I’m on the road, I’m often ashamed of my gender. Should a grown woman be rolling down the street like this:

Even worse, like this:

Newsflash: Unless you’re under 10 or a recent Japanese immigrant, Hello Kitty is not an acceptable car accessory.

I blame the automotive industry. If you wanna raise your chic flag on the road, what’s a girl to do? Back in the day, we had beautiful options for feminine cars, stuff like this:

White steering wheel? Red Interior? It’s like a Birkin bag with an engine.  Delicious.

But nowadays, you’re more likely to see women personalizing their cars like this:

Listen honey, unless Mary Kay is footing the bill, a hot pink car is just loser.  And guess who the horny cops are gonna pull over first? I’m just sayin’…

And, while this is amusing, it’s also pretty weird:

So to you, Mr. Automotive Designer, let’s raise the bar.  I’m not asking for an in-dash tampon case or a refrigerated chocolate dispenser in my car, but how about throwing us a bone?  There are plenty of us out there (I hear it’s something like 50% of the population) and we love cars too.