Smaller! Lighter! More fuel-efficient! Yay! I’m so sick of fuel-efficient cars, I could barf.
I mean, I get it– smog blows, no one wants a hole in the ozone and gas is $5 a gallon. We gotta do something. But there’s still a side of me that longs for a car with bench seats, 4 ash trays and a body with enough girth to fit 8 bodies in the trunk. It’s kinda like Hugh Grant getting blown by a trannie while his girlfriend is Elizabeth Hurley– variety is the spice of life.
So, to you, Prius driver, I give you the Lincoln Continental:
Just think- rather than take all my homies out to lunch, I could pile them all in this American beauty and spend that $200 on a drive around the block. But what a ride it would be! If it’s good enough for Adrian Grenier, it’s good enough for me.
Or how about this Ford F100?
No Thule doesn’t make racks for that, there’s no bed liner, no disassembly necessary– just put your bike in the bed. We can pretend it is pre-Kardashian LA, when Jim Morrison and Joni Mitchell ruled the canyons and real hippies could still afford Malibu.
And rich/famous people, if you’re looking for a limo, what’s wrong with this?
Sure, it’s slightly Idi Amin, but it is totally more pimp than a Towncar.
So if you’re gonna ruin the environment, at least use your imagination! In the mean time, I’m not saying this is ridiculous:
But I’m pretty sure that sign would get laughed out of Texas and Arizona. And if my grandpa wants to roll up in his ’73 New Yorker, should he have to park in East Jesus while the yoga biatch with 3% body fat in a hybrid Lexus SUV gets “reserved parking”? We’ve clearly all gone crazy.