LA Auto Show: The Good, The Bad, The WTF ’13

3 min read

One of the best things about the LA Auto Show is that when you get that many people together in this town, things are bound to get freaky.  And that, my friends, is what makes my life worth living.

So, from the top.  The Good:


The Cadillac Elmiraj..I know. You're thinking, "She said Cadillac?" Hell yes, I did. And if you saw it, you'd be saying it too. This baby is a beast under the hood (non-gear heads, cover your eyes) 4.5L V8 twin turbo with 500 bhp & although it's a concept, it's also "close" to going into production. Unfortunately, they didn't let anyone into the car or even close, which is a shame because with numbers like that and this bad ass profile, it'll be filling up Beverly Hills driveways quicker than you can say "McMansion."

Mercedes also showed off their truly delicious AMG Vision Grand Turismo concept.  Honestly, it was borderline disgusting.  There were big puddles of drool all over the place.  Even worse were the flash bulbs reflecting off of the fat diamond rings:


And just in case you forgot where you were, there was the matte hot pink Lambo Aventador:


Yup, only in LA.

That bring us to the Bad. Normally, I simply head downstairs to the aftermarket stuff, where guys take the cars we are all dying for and destroy them with terrible custom paint jobs and over the top wheels. However, this year, the madness was upstairs. Let's start with the 918 Spyder:


Nice, huh?  In a nutshell, it's Porsche's "F you" to Tesla–it's their very own plug-in supercar.  But that's not the problem.  Here's the rub:


They kept it behind glass.  Now listen boys, I know the car is worth a lot. But this is LA.  If you put that baby up for sale tomorrow, you'll probably sell a few dozen and then the very next day, we'll see two parked at our local Whole Foods.  And, as you can see from the grumpy crowd, we're not impressed.

If that wasn't annoying enough, Kia cheaped out and sent over their mascot's idiot twin brother to do some under cover work as a security guard:



But what we all unanimously filed under WTF was one part Volvo, one part Buick and three parts Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. Warning, please only enlarge this photo on an empty stomach:


That's the $1.1m Youabian Puma. Which is the brilliant Dr. Youabian's solution to the burning, age old question– What should really rich guys do with their money?  In his case, it meant taking 18 months to put together a car to get the dubious distinction of being the most puke-inducing in recent car show history. Call me crazy, but if you're gonna go cherry picking for cool design, perhaps you want to raise the bar slightly higher than the Buick Enclave.  With taste like that, I'm definitely getting a second opinion on my nose job.

But just when all hope is lost, you see a guy like this:


And this little man reminds us, no matter what you're driving, it's really hard to beat being pushed around by your mom while checking out the latest cars and still being able to pee without pulling over.  

See you next year!

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