The LA Car Show–The Good, The Bad, the WTF?

Big confession– the LA car show has always eluded me.  They’re showing all the new cars? Big deal– wait for 20 minutes at the Malibu Chevron station and you’ll see that new car AND the celebrity driving it.  So, why oh why, dear reader, would I schlep downtown in the pouring rain, through scads of Latino Emos and white trash from the 909, and squeeze my ass into the LA Convention Center?  For you, baby, that’s who.

Here’s the Good:

Mama loves the matte red!

The Shaguar (Yeah, baby, yeah!) C-X75 Supercar looks awesome.  And hats off to Jaguar for having an intelligent spokeswoman (more on that later).

The new BMW i series looks SO much better in person. Sign me up for the 8, please!

Now to the Bad:

I love a Bugatti like the next girl and I’m not offended by female exploitation– as long as you don’t mock me as I objectify men (hey Ashton, who’s your rebound girl?). But the QR code on her ass? Really. I had to push my way through several teenage boys with chino tents to snap this one.

This car costs a cool $1m– how taking an additional $40 and getting clue. I’m just sayin…

This exhibit from Volvo was especially bad. Mama loves me the vintage Volvo, which I think is a P1800. But their current lineup is so lame that they had to build something vertical to keep our eyes up as we walked through the booth.  This is like me pointing out a puppy as I drive by a strip club so I can avoid my kids asking “What’s Spearmint Rhino? Can we go?”

Now for the WTF…drum roll please.

This distinction is given to Rover. To them I make a personal plea– Hi guys, remember me? Lifetime Rover fan? Yeah my mom drove a Defender, my dad drove a Rover 2000, even I sunk $50k into a crappy Discovery? I know you were bought by the Indian company Tata (no joke needed) who made the ever-sexy Nano, but come on.  Keep them out of your sandbox! These cars hurt my eyes (and my feelings).

It was a freakshow– full of snot nosed kids pawing priceless vehicles and their drunk parents pretending to shop for cars they can’t afford, but I’ll be back next year!