VW Atlas: The Lure Of Forgiveness

You know that boyfriend you had once?  The one with the great smell, the great kisser and of course, the great sex? Man, you two were so happy.  Then he went and did something really dumb. You were sad, depressed, heartbroken.  And when he came back, after shaving off that nasty ass goatee & going to the gym, begging for your forgiveness, did you take him back? Or were you too worried that he’d always be a knucklehead and so you kicked him & his six pack abs to the curb?

Mama can be bribed with cotton candy.

Mama can be bribed with cotton candy.

This, my friends, is the dilemma of every VW TDI owner today.  They’ve all loved their cars.  They loved what the TDI said about them, their place in society, their intelligence and their eco-consciousness. But then VW turned out to be a cheater and all hell broke loose. (see my Hell Hath No Fury Like A Hippie Scorned post) So what’s a Farfromgroovin’ diesel owner to drive?

I’m not here to tell you what to do (that’ll be my next VW diesel-gate post). I’m here to show you what happens when your ex-boyfriend goes to therapy, rehab, the gym, the stylist and the barber before he decides to try to win you back. He ends up looking like this:

vw atlas

This my friends is the 2017 VW Atlas. It’s pretty much the suv that VW should’ve made 10 years ago. Sure, there’s the Touraeg (aka the Cayenne lite) and that adorable little Tiguan but none of them do exactly what we expect a VW to do– be a truly practical family solution. That’s why we fell in love with VW in the first place, you goofy German fool. But then comes the Atlas:

vw atlas

VW’s North American CEO Hinrich Woebcken showing off the Atlas

He’s a full size suv with…wait for it…a real third row! Alrighty then, now you’re interested.  It’s a pretty sweet third row at that, here’s Dave Koontz from ABC 7 lounging all of his 6 foot 7 inches in the way way back:

dave koontz

With 96.8 feet of cargo space vs the Touraeg’s 64, let’s just say this is big.  The Atlas will be Made In America, which is great unless we’ve all defected by then. It will reportedly have two engine options, a 2.0L turbocharged one producing 239 hp and another 3.6L v6 with 280 hp. I know, I was thinking it too, where’s the alternative fuel? Kinda busy..in therapy right now.

VW atlas interior

The interior was yummy, I can tell you that.

So what’s the verdict? I dunno, I haven’t driven it yet. But neither has anyone else.  When I do, you’ll be the first to know.

Should you get one? Assuming it drives well, let’s just say this.  If you’ve been scorned and your ex comes back looking better than ever, giving you everything you always wanted, saying they’re sorry & handing you a check… you’d be a fool not to think it over.

Here’s my little video walk around:


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