70s moms were a unique breed. They smoked, they drank, they popped pills & burned bras. And we all lived. Here are some of the insane things that 70s moms did then that would put us in the slammer now.
The scene of the crime..Mom’s was a Series III
*Backseat As Babysitter: My mom used to park her car, crack a window and stroll into Lord & Taylor for a few hours of shopping and an uninterrupted lunch. This left the three of us bored to tears in the back seat. So we did what any restless pack of kids would do– we tried to kill each other. It was like Lord of the Freakin’ Flies. However, now that I’m a parent, I completely get it. It’s more sanitary than checking your kids into Ikea’s germ-filled Smaland & so much easier than pretending you really want them in tow. I once wondered if I could get away with this. I figured no one would die if I tried to drop a letter in the PO box without my 4 foot shadow nudging me to buy her Mickey Mouse stamps that she’d inevitably affix to the interior of my car. But before I could even try, she blurted out “You can’t leave me in here. It’s illegal.” Ug. Fine!
*Seat Belts: The idea of not buckling up is an outrage today, but back then we didn’t even have them. No baby seats, no boosters, no airbags. Hitting our heads on the roof of the Land Rover as my mom blazed over train tracks was something we did for fun– because anything beats a.m. radio! And Mom’s arm could fly across that front passenger seat at the speed of light. Although using her arm as protective gear would likely do more harm than good because if, God forbid, a crash did occur, being impaled by Mom’s bangle bracelets would’ve been calamity within itself.
*Smoking: My mom didn’t officially smoke, but my in-laws sure did. They rolled up all the car windows and puffed away like Cheech & Chong. Today we’d call that child abuse, but back then, they called it winter.
*Roadies: When leaving a fun-filled key party, who wants to abandon a half-slugged martini just because your husband thinks you’ve “had enough”? And they didn’t put them in nasty red plastic cups, they used a proper cocktail glass. They may have been drunks, but they weren’t animals…
*Eject Buttons: Back in the day, if your kids pissed you off, you could just tell them to get out of the car. At least I think you could, because my mom did all the time. If we were bad, we were just left by side of the road and told to “hitch” home. Nowadays hitchhiking is something you only see in horror films and old X-Files episodes, but back in the day– it was pretty legit. However, if it wasn’t, please don’t arrest Mom, she’s a nice old bag. You can read more about her here: https://r5t.461.myftpupload.com/?p=1396
Now tell me about your mother…
We had a ’68 AMC Rambler. Bench seat up front, three on the tree, no seat belts. Mom had 3 boys sit up front so she could stop/impale us in the event of a crash. Her arms were the size of matchsticks so I thing the logic was unsound. That said, we had lots of close calls. “The Rambler” was funny in that the breaks were touchy and they locked up with no notice. Even at a simple stop light. We would skid to a stop, Moms are come flying. Aside from the embarrassment from other drives thinking they were going to die, if you were in the middle position; you got an elbow in the chest/face.
Funny thing is, she thought she was making us safer with her toothpick arms trying to catch 3 boys.
It would have been after in the trunk. That was the late ’60’s.
So funny, Scott. My mom used to do the same thing in our Land Rover. Then my dad installed seat belts in the mid 70s. He ordered them through a racing buddy. How unfathomable now! I had bruises from my mom’s bracelets..
Substitue a ’66 Chevy wagon & that’s my childhood.
Folks tell me I turned out just fine.