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7 Of The World’s Cringiest Bumper Stickers

cringiest bumper sticker

Bumper stickers are cool. I dig them. Well, most of them. Of course the “Student Of The Month”, “Who Adopted Who?” and “I Brake For Tacos” types can still kiss my ass. But there are also a handful that make even me cringe. Me– the virtually, unoffendable. So here I am, sharing them with you, so we can scratch our eyes out together. Here goes nothin’:

cringiest bumper sticker

Ouch. That one hurts. And I don’t even have a girlfriend. But, because it looks like he made it himself, I’ll give him 10 points for creativity. Not like this fella, who probably paid good money for this insight:

cringiest bumper stickers

Imagine being his boss? Nothing says “Can Do Effort” like the guy with the humping stick figure on his back window. Plus, I’m gonna guess that his work ethic could probably use a some work.

This one, in my dreams, is about to get his first female boss:

cringiest bumper stickers

and I want to be there when he gets his quarterly review in the parking lot, between his ride and her Raptor. Payback’s a bitch..

Now this is awesome:

cringiest bumper stickers

until you drive home for the holidays. Sure, that statement may be badass in Sherman Oaks, but good luck rolling through Forest Park with California plates and that brazen sticker. They’re gonna whip your newly kombucha-lovin’ ass quicker than you can say “Goo Gone.”

This guy is my hero:

bumper sticker

That Bumper Humper number is fantastic. So why the hell is he defiling the rest of his car with the Joker, Elsa and Harley Quinn? Let me get this’ve got the balls to pump your brakes for a tailgater but can’t grow a pair to keep your kid’s movie of the month off your ride? That’s sad, bro. Almost as sad as this:

cringiest bumper sticker

I don’t know what’s more cringy, the idea of a cat scratching my car or the idea of a cat IN my car. They both seem equally horrendous. Plus, these stickers have the added risk of a crazy cat person taking them literally and smashing your window to free Fluffy. That would suck. Speaking of sucking:

bumper stickers

Politics are depressing. But, if I’m perfectly honest, I CAN’T WAIT for the election. Because it’s prime bumper sticker spotting season.

4 thoughts on “7 Of The World’s Cringiest Bumper Stickers”

  1. Rebecca Gerlin

    I don’t know Mama, this left me wondering:

    Thanks Mr.C, the original BSticker spotter.

    1. motorheadmama

      Ha! Of course I had to read that out loud to finally get it. Touche!

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