Listen, my beloved BMW bros, we’ve had a very rocky relationship. I loved you. I gave you all of my money. Then you took a nose dive and took my heart along with you. The BMW that I loved —ahead of everyone in design, technology, and driveability — had officially sold out. It wasn’t just sad, it was heartbreaking. Worst of all, my driveway stopped turning over. I drove my X5m into the ground (190,000 miles!), unable to replace it with a grille-busting, technologically inferior, mediocre driving machine.
Today, BMW Dropped This Banger:
The new i3 is not only not ugly, but it’s also almost attractive! But before we debate the design, let’s just feast our eyes on the delightful stats:
- An estimated 440 miles of range
- It can charge up to 250 miles in 10 minutes
- Bidirectional charging functionality (which means it can charge your home, the grid, or external devices )
- Front and rear motors delivering 463 hp and 476 lb of torque
- Built in NACS charging for Tesla Superchargers
SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK: 440 MILES OF RANGE
This is the BMW I know and love– ahead of the pack, not playing catch-up. This is almost 80 more miles than the Tesla Model 3. Fantastic. The fast-charging, bidirectional functionality, and NACS compliance show you guys are both paying attention to what consumers want, particularly here in the USA, given our infrastructure “challenges.”
Do We Have To Talk About The Old i3?
Nah, that’s just mean. I think we’d both rather forget about that one.
I May Even Be Able To Accept This
I was a very vocal critic of the last generation of Bavarian grilles. They stood out like the first mom to get a facelift at school pickup —meant to look ahead of its time, but it just seemed wildly inappropriate. (I live in Los Angeles; I know these things.) But this? This is interesting. It’s giving updated kidney vibes, with a side of technology, which I’m sure is precisely the point. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say I don’t hate it.
The Rest Of The Design Is Fine
Listen, it’s no panty-dropping Lucid Air or the masterpiece that is the Tesla Model S, but it’s a good-looking sedan. Which, frankly, you and I both know, hasn’t been your forte as of late. It’s no 90s-era 7-series; I don’t want to live in the trunk like the E24 6-series, but it’s a good-looking machine. I look forward to seeing it in person.
I’d Say Welcome Back
But 1) I’m still too fragile to get my hopes up. And 2) I haven’t driven anything yet. However, I’m still holding out hope that you and I will be united once again.