It’s surf season in LA. Actually, it’s always surf season in LA. More accurately, it’s currently LA’s tourist surf season– which is a delightful time to be me mainly because I love watching how people try to get a surfboard to the beach without thinking. If you’re in danger of being on those people, please follow Mama’s Simple Surfboard Transport Rules.
Rule #4: Surfboards In Cars Aren’t A Thing
Tourist seasons also means I’m one of the best girls in the water (ok, at least I’m not the worst), but more importantly, it’s the time when local readers send me awesome stuff like this:
(thanks, Paul!)
If you’re reading this from Uganda, Oklahoma or Albuquerque, lemme tell you– this is not how to get your surfboard from A to B. The Arizona plate is practically redundant…
Rule #3: No Overhang, Bro
I’m not sure what this guy’s excuse is:
He’s about two tree branches away from riding a short board. Poor thing. Not smart and driving the ugliest T-bird ever. So sorry, dbag.
Let’s review some basic stuff. Surfing = good. Surfboards protruding from speeding vehicles= bad. I’m blonde, chronically distracted, and have the attention span of a fruit fly. However, even I, in all of my rampant stupidity, can strap a surfboard on top of my car. And why is this important? Good question! Let’s just say that when your board snaps in half under an overpass or impales a passing biker, well.. the good news is that there are plenty of good plastic surgeons (not to mention lawyers) around here.
Rule #2: Surfboard Bags Are Your Friend
But before you get too depressed, there are plenty of people doing it right:
As if the mint El Camino wasn’t cool enough? This dude’s got a well-padded board peeking out the back? Very nice!
Rule #1: Strap It On, Real Tight
But the mack daddy is this dude I recently spotted in Calabasas. Nothing fancy here, just a well-loved Grand Wagoneer and a father/daughter surf/sup project. This guy is alright by me.
So if you’re a budding surfer and heading to my fair city in the near future, just remember Mama’s three hot surfboard transport tips (which are also useful in a variety of applications):
*you’ll have more fun if it’s on top and you’re on the bottom
*make sure you strap it in, good & tight
*make sure your fins are facing up and forward. Eight erect inches need to be handled carefully.
Hang loose,
Mama