In LA, vanity plates are the low hanging fruit of car commentary. They’re like Disney movies– absolutely everywhere and consistently ridiculous. However, like Disney movies– they always make me smile, even if just to think “our country has officially gone to hell.”
Lots of people get a vanity plate to let you know what they do for a living:
Which I’ve never understood– do they think I’m gonna roll down my window while stuck on the 101 and say “Hey, I need a good realtor. What’s your number?”
Speaking of douchebags, how about the ones who assume you don’t know what they’re driving. I’d get that if it was a ’31 Bugatti, but if you live in Los Angeles and don’t recognize a G wagon is, you’ve clearly been living under a rock:
Oh..it’s a Mercedes..G55..really? Is that what those other letters mean? The ones roughly 11 inches to the left? Now I see. Thank you oh-so-very-much.
Call me cynical, but I never buy this one:
I hate to think what this guy did to Kate, but it must’ve been pretty awful for him to feel compelled to stand in line for 6 hours at the DMV to score his automotive apology.
But the one I really pity is this guy:
Was that a court-ordered plate? That’s the only excuse for that nonsense. Or was “SML PENS” already taken? I’d call him a douchebag, but I’m pretty sure he already knows. The one who needs a talking to is:
Listen, Prancer: Even Santa thinks you’re a douchebag for this one. You may go from 0-60 in 3.5 seconds, but you went from cool to loser even quicker. Get over yourself.
So I didn’t put any Dudes on this list, because I’m convinced vanity plates are inherently douchebag moves. If you see a good one, send it to Mama.
I want a vanity plate that says DREAMS and a plate holder that says; Stop following me.
But you’ll never catch me at the DMV by choice.
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