Freak of the Week: Paris Hilton

2 min read

As I was driving home from work the other day, I was lured into a parking lot by this:

Paris Hilton

Yes, it’s a Bentley with a trunk that’s vaguely open and no, I didn’t peek inside.  Instead, I zoomed in on the crystal encrusted, monogrammed logo & snapped this:

Paris Hilton

Then I realized, this is not just another customized, $200,000 ride.  That “PH” wasn’t just for anyone. This was Paris, baby.  Paris Hilton. The celebrity sighting mother load.

Now I don’t know what LA’s most famous socialite was doing in this crappy West Hollywood strip mall (secretly, I’d like to think it was a shrink appointment), but I do know that it was a gift from the Baby Jesus.

Love her or hate her, Paris represents what is best about LA– only here you can take whatever you’re expected to do in life, turn it on its head and into a pot of gold.   Born into one of the city’s wealthiest families, from Day One is was clear that she’s not your typical debutante.   Most rich girls are named after a long lost relative or English royalty.  But Paris Hilton is the grand dame of the geotargetted baby naming craze.  In fact Brooklyn, Sydney and Phoenix– I think you guys could get a bit more specific.  ‘Cuz my girl Paris not only named the city but also the place. But I digress..

What do most rich kids do when they get kicked out of boarding school?  Go to another. Not Paris. She made a sex tape, a reality tv show and got her GED.  In Paris’ case, a GED equals Godawfully Enormous Deposits amounting to about $100m of her own, hard earned dough.  Again, show me a socialite more interested in re-earning her family fortune than spending it.

She made that $100m in ten years by doing.. all kinds of stuff.  Mainly, playing dumb. And many people buy the act.  But do stupid women earn $100m on their own? Do stupid women get paid just to show up at parties? People treat me like a dumb blonde on a regular basis, but I certainly am not smart enough to turn that into a long lasting, lucrative career. And if you enjoy watching her play stupid on her “reality” shows, congratulations– you are helping contribute to these coffers. Who’s the idiot now?

Like any good Angelino, Paris is a woman who loves her cars. Her collection includes the above Bentley ala West Coast Customs, a Ferrari California, a Mercedes SLR McLaren, a Lexus LFA, Yukon Hybrid and a Roller.  So, go ahead call her stupid, but before you do, peek into your own garage.

Paris, Mama loves you, your brilliance and your fabulous ride. You are my Freak of the Week!

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