As we slide out of summer and into back-to-school season, I’m thinking about carpool. About you, your kids, and (even worse) other people’s kids and the messes they’ll inevitably make during the chaotic rideshare. How do you deal with it? How can you clean it up? Can you prevent it all? Don’t worry, people, Mama’s here, and I’ve got a checklist that will help you stock up, buckle down, and keep those brats from disrupting your sanity and (even worse) destroying your car.
Carpool No Brainer: Wipes
I know what you’re going to say–it’s cool, Mama, I’ve got some leftover Mcdonald’s napkins and a bottle of water. Can’t I use that? No. No, you can’t. What about the baby wipes? Nope. Sorry. Unless you want the scent of clean baby butt following your vehicle to the end of eternity. Makeup wipes? No to those, too. Because kids will spill all kinds of stuff in your car, and not all of it will be easily identifiable, I implore you to get all-purpose wipes. I always have a stash of these bad boys in my car. Buy ’em here.
Carpool Basics: Buy Ahead & Shut Them Up
Nothing irritates me more* during carpool season than the kid (you know who you are, Zane) who would jump in my car and immediately whine about how hungry he was and beg me to stop for food. Sorry, you didn’t get up and make breakfast, not to mention your lunch, kid. I got here on time, and I plan to get you home relatively safely. I’m not the lunch lady. But if that highly persuasive monologue doesn’t do the trick, may I suggest stocking your center console like a doomsday bunker? Start with the obvious. Goldfish–and not the crazy flavors or colors because those will leave a scent and a stain. Basic cheddar only, click here to buy.
Hydration is Key, Kids
The next round of whining will begin after you fill them with salty, aquatic-shaped snack crackers. This will be of the thirst variety. Yet someone drank all of their water, spilled it, or forgot to refill their water bottle at school. You’ll worry that it’s hot, and maybe you should give in to stop at that convenience store to “just grab a bottle of water.” You may give in to this amateur-hour nonsense if you’re a dad or new to parenting. But if you’re a pro, you know convenience stores are filled with carpool kryptonite. And kids are sneaky, so the minute you slow down, they’ll run in, and the next thing you know:
So, stock up on water—not just any water—boxed water. The boxes are inherently better for the planet, and kids love them because every time they post them on social media with the hashtag #betterplanet, the manufacturer plants two trees. Click here to buy them.
Keep Em In The Back Seat
If your kids tend to jump in the front seat like Gooby here, you’ll have to treat them like the dogs they are.
I’m a big fan of Kurgo dog products, and I just found that they have a “dog barrier.” Now, for carpooling purposes, let’s assume you “forgot” to remove it before school pickup. Then, it effectively becomes a “kid blocker,” too. You’re welcome.
If you’d like to buy one of these, click here.
Protect Your Ears, Download A Playlist
*Correction: What annoys me the most during carpools, ZANE, is when you go rogue, connect to my Bluetooth, and stream your music. Thus, in the sacred name of Salt N’ Pepa, I beg you to download your music ahead of time and protect your infotainment access like your life depends on it. Because it does! Music is life, and theirs often blows. If things get terrible, try my Foolproof Embarrass Your Kids Playlist because it is parenting gold! They’re not going to like it, and they’re never, under any circumstances, going to think you’re cool, but that’s just life.
What about you? What do you keep in your car? Share with us in the comments or reach out on social!
xo
Mama