6 Bumper Stickers That Prove You’re Old

Before we get started, let’s get a few things straight. First, most of these aren’t bumper stickers. Ok, so don’t go freaking out and sending me psycho emails about that. Second, ain’t no shame in aging. Some of the world’s finest bloggers are aging too. Lastly, all of this may be upsetting, so put on your big boy/girl/whatever panties because this is likely to hurt.

This one may feel a little deceptive. 90s Forever? Hell yeah! Those were my prime beer-drinking, bar-top dancing, beer-puking days. Hooray for this sticker! Well, I hate to break this to you, but I saw this sticker at the Japanese Classics Car Show. 90s=classic. That’s right. That glorious era was, in fact, 25 years ago. Gulp.

This one is hilarious. That is of course assuming that you understand that the drink pictured is boba and the balls they’re talking about are actually sitting at the bottom of the drink, ON PURPOSE. Need a minute? Ok. Yeah, among the most astonishing trends in the past decade are kids all over the world embracing these bizarre Taiwanese beverages that have tapioca chunks at the bottom. They even make special, extra-wide, ball-friendly straws. No, I swear, it’s a thing. In fact, your kids are probably sucking balls as we speak.

That poor girl is missing her face! And she can’t even speak! What type of weird, misogynistic nonsense is this? It’s a character on Bob’s Burger, dumbass. (Of course I had to Google it too)

Here’s a two for one. #1: your Prius is lame. But Mama’s been telling you that for years. Of course I still ❤️ you! #2. Eat, Sleep, Rave..Repeat. Remember those days? In my day, it was eat a little, sleep less and jump around the club until daylight breaks. Then go to work! Now it’s eat too much, sleep too little and repeat.  I have absolutely no idea what has replaced all of that free time. Sorry, but these are clear, undeniable signs of being old.

I told you this was gonna hurt. But we both know that the Star Wars themed stick figures are lame. Come on, face it! And finally:

Um.. I have no idea. Seriously. What the hell is that? And why is she stuck in some dude’s car. I find this super disturbing. But what is even more disturbing is that it more than likely refers to something I don’t understand. Dammit! I’m old too. Oh well guys. The good news? Somebody’s gonna have to teach this kids how drive stick when the zombies come!

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