Bumper Stickers: You Shouldn’t Have

Generally, I’m a huge fan of bumper stickers. Even if they express someone’s irrational or upsetting political views, they’re still cool with me. At least they have an opinion. Plus, learning a little more about the driver helps me to plan which way to point my vehicle in the event of a massive pile up.

However, I’ve recently observed a few stickers that while perhaps intended as funny or ironic, really just miss the mark:

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Now if this was on the back of a Lambo or a 458 Italia, I’d think ‘Hell yeah, I’d love myself too!’ But it’s on a sad, little blue Prius– which makes me think that it’s a daily affirmation as a result of years of therapy and perhaps a few months on an ashram. I prefer to focus on their other car which I envision as a 911 Turbo S that they drive when the drugs kick in. Otherwise, it’s too depressing.

Apparently the bizarre back end confessional isn’t just a high brow, Westside phenom. Check out this poor fool in the high Sierras:

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I wonder how that’s received at Grandma’s trailer park come Thanksgiving time. I sure hope he’s got a back up, “Jesus” sticker to slaps over “crack whores” when he goes to see Gran Gran.

Sometimes people think they’re being clever yet it results in an epic fail:
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She’s likely referring to a pit bull or a bull terrier something like that. But I can guarantee that her playdate dance card evaporated at the speed of light when that sticker appeared at school pick up. And, as a result, her poor kid is gonna spend a lot of time alone playing Minecraft. Nice work, Mom.

The hardest one to really nail is the self deprecating. Sometimes it’s cool and sometimes it’s debatable. Like this, seen on the back of a Subaru 360:
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I’m not gonna debate the broken part, that’s hilarious. But the sizing issue is more of a question for his other half, who I did not see at this event. Maybe she’s at the back of the show chatting up the dude with the lifted truck. His bumper sticker looks like this:
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