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Freak of the Week: Hella Renegade

Jeeps these days= ug. Amirite? The light bars, the lift kits, the overwhelming need to convince us that they do cool stuff, when, in all honesty, we both know they don’t. But this CJ7 Renegade is different. This Jeep doesn’t require a bra. In this Jeep, underwear is optional. And in this Jeep, there are zero responsibilities, zero worries, and nothing to fear. This is a Jeep that wants you to sell your stuff and spend the rest of your life camping on the beach.

Why It Has To Be A CJ7 Renegade

The CJ7 is in demand these days for good reason. The round headlights, the flush door handles, and the metal interiors—everything that made the civilian Jeep cool before the Wrangler came along and screwed it all up. With that demand, we’re also seeing a lot of overdone builds, people who spend a lot of time and money turning what was a fun, casual vehicle into something that takes itself WAY too seriously. But not this Jeep.

Restrained Jeepness

Sure, this car has had work done. Honey, this is LA, everyone has had work done. Clearly, the paint and body have been cleaned up a bit. But not too much. That’s what makes it cool—it’s all very calm, cool, and O.G. in the best possible way. The only exception is the interior upholstery that is a tad too vibrant, but it’s just one wet and sandy bathing suit away from nailing it, so I’m gonna let that go.

CJ7 Renegade

Devil In the Details

When you look closer, this Jeep goes from “very nice” to “hell yeah!”. First, why yes, that is in fact a pool ball on the stick shifter. (If you’re under 30, this means it’s a manual transmission. I’m happy to wait while you Google it.) Plus, this CJ7 Renegade isn’t sporting any fancy anti-theft system, it’s rocking the Club (which is, of course, color coordinated). Ain’t no Bluetooth, Apple CarPlay bullshit here, there is a CB radio. Now that’s legit. Plus, the wheels aren’t any forged metal modern nonsense, but painted Steelies, as they damn well should be.

Prepared For Anything

If you’re worried that this car is impractical and foolish, I’m here to prove you wrong. It has advanced weatherproofing:

It has a heating and cooling system:

CJ7 Renegade

And while cruise control wasn’t a thing in the CJ7 Renegade, the hula girl on the dash ensures that all adventures are cruisin’. Control is overrated.

Living The Life

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “That’s nice, for them.” You say. “But I’m a responsible, tax-paying adult with responsibilities.” Good for you. That’s great. But when was the last time you got so high that your hands amazed you? When was the last time you laughed so hard that Kool-Aid flew out of your nostrils? I don’t have to ask the driver of this Jeep, because I know, in my heart, that they are living their best life. Their Jeep alone tells me so.

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