Freak of the Week: A Magnificent Scion Sparkle

I love going to the auto parts store because traditionally, it’s chock full o’ weirdos. It truly never disappoints. So I was hardly surprised to see my recent Freak of the Week at Auto Zone. But details around the Scion Sparkle Freak of the Week, particularly the person behind this amazing car, well, that was unexpected.

The first thing I spotted was the supremely patriotic rear window graphic. In my experience, people sporting those types of images and to that scale, tend to be less than friendly. So I tried to keep my distance, but the sparkles were simply too irresistible for me to stay away. I bellied up to this masterpiece, phone in hand, ready to snap some shots.

As I moved to the side of the Scion, I realized that I was dealing with a prolific bedazzler. The glitter just kept coming, from the doors, to the door handles, to the wheels:

This was one hell of a project.

I started thinking, Who Is This Person? Someone Bored? Someone Crazy? Male? Female? I settled on an image of a middle aged military mom with a name like Sheryl or Connie who spent her days shopping at Michaels, hoarding shimmery things to distract her from the daily pain and anxiety of missing her son or daughter. Just as I was cementing this preconception into my mind, someone walked towards me as I squat next to the Scion.

‘Excuse me,’ she said, somewhat suspiciously.

‘Sorry,’ I started. I tripped over my words as my mental picture imploded. ‘I just love this car, is it yours?’

‘Yup,’ she said. ‘Wanna see inside?’

Never in the world was there a more rhetorical question.

As she opened the door with her bejeweled fingers, I saw the most magnificent driver’s area ever. It’s also quite possible the most distracting, but that’s besides the point.

That’s right. Please don’t miss the floor mats, the indicator handle, and the rear view mirror.

‘This is amazing,’ I tell her. As I stepped back in awe and introduced myself, she smiled and said, ‘Nice to meet you, I’m Exotica.’

Oh. My. God. Of course it is.

And to think, I imagined her to be some sad lady named Sheryl, using this vehicle as an escape from her miserable life. I was entirely unprepared for the beaming, confident goddess that is Exotica.

We said our goodbyes and prepared to go our separate ways. But just as she got in her car and was shutting the driver’s door, I asked turned around and asked, ‘Hey Exotica, why do you do it? You know, the sparkles?’

She smiled her great, big, booming grin with blue lipstick and replied, ‘I guess I just love my car.’

Who needs a better reason than that? Hooray for Exotica! Hooray for all of you who are bold and brave enough to be a Freak of the Week!

1 thought on “Freak of the Week: A Magnificent Scion Sparkle”

  1. FANTASTIC!!!

    As we all read this, we are painting a picture of Exotica in our mind… WHO KNEW Exotica (in my humble subjective opinion) is also SMOKIN HOT!

    My mind went to — don’t get me wrong… BEAUTIFUL in her own way — overweight, white, style-conscious… possibly supporting an insurrection… which would conflict with the possibility of transgender… and betting a paycheck on multiple piercings and tattoos (#Respect)… definitely spending her/their somewhat limited funny money toward vehicular self-expression (not yet a crime in 37 States).

    I would not think any less of a person no mater gender, ethnicity, bedazzlement (as a religion), or any other self-identification. (My hangup is judging on support of a #FailedDictator — sorry, judge me back!). Just interesting how a couple pictures and a description paints a picture in anyone’s mind… We should all consider this in observing AND RESPECTING those who express themselves in this manner… on the road or in the parking lot, or wherever any one of us is exposed to a great opportunity to open our eyes to individuality and self expression!

    Thanks, MAMA!

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