I don’t live in Texas. And sometimes, honestly, that makes me sad. Because if I lived in Texas, I could witness stuff like The Great Horned Hummer firsthand:
But luckily for me, I’ve got friends like Matt in Dallas who send me such brilliance. Oh hell yes, y’all! Now where does a girl even begin on this masterpiece? With the complexity of big horn mount? The cow hide strap? The dilemma escalates when you feast your eyes on its rear details:
From the ‘I Love My Wife” confession/disclaimer to the gratuitous chrome light covers, it’s really something. Why, are those dragon head exhaust pipes? You shouldn’t have. But am REALLY glad you did! The vanity plate? Dallas MAVZ, of course. Less original is the Tonka wheel cover, but I can let that go. Especially when I consider what I mistakingly assume to be three chrome letters that are some magnificent monogram, but then I realize it’s far more likely/awesome if it’s the “Dirty Ghetto Kids” acronym. Sadly, I’ll never know.
Because, as aforementioned, I don’t live in Texas and you do. Waahhh! So to you, you Horny Hummer maker extraordinaire, these are my digital kudos. You’ve truly crafted something special and uniquely Texan here. And for that, you have joined the ranks of my all-time favorites including the infamous: Freak of The Week: The H2 El Jefe (amen)!